Happier
by hopelessfifty
Summary: After their breakup, Christian is distraught. Ana has moved on and is dating Jose. Will Christian be able to move on and find love like Anastasia's again? Or will he shut everyone out again like he did in the past before he met Anastasia?


Hello friendly readers! I know I have been on a pretty long hiatus for those of you who follow my work but my computer decided to crap out and it has been this long since I could get a new one! But I am back, baby!

So for this particular story, I have chosen to strictly just the characters from the FSOG series and not the plot. This is mostly because I couldn't figure out where to place this in the actual plot of the books and wanted a bit of creative freedom. Again I do not claim rights to anything written by Erica James, I solely wanted the characters for fan one enjoyment!

Thanks All,

HopelessFifty xx.

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 _Happier_

 _Summary:_

After their breakup, Christian is distraught. Ana has moved on and is dating Jose. Will Christian be able to move on and find love like Anastasia's again? Or will he shut everyone out again like he did in the past before he met Anastasia?

 _Christian's POV:_

It's been weeks, I should have another submissive by now. Even though Anastasia was never a submissive to me I feel like now she is gone that everything I ever opened up to her about; like being a Sadist, was indeed true. I shouldn't of let her get this close, to be able to know me more than I even know myself because ultimately I knew she would leave… I am a monster, I whip little brown-haired girls because they look like my mother, what sane woman would want to stay with me after hearing that.

Running my hand down my face I feel the hard stubble that I have neglected to shave off in the past weeks, I just haven't been able to do anything but work and sleep and when I wasn't sleeping I was drowning my fucking sorrows into that piano in the foyer… I slowly rise from my desk and begin packing up my stuff from the office, loosening my tie I take it off and press it into my briefcase. This is the tie that Ana liked so much; my Ana, or his now I suppose. His Ana. The way the words rolled off my tongue made me sick and left a terrible taste on my lips, worse then the old bourbon I was drinking last night. The briefcase snaps shut bringing me back from my thoughts. Everything is reminding me of her. Jesus Fucking Christ. I have never felt this way before... I know I loved her but hell, I never thought I would care this much if she had walked out on me.

 _A Few Weeks Earlier_

"Christian...I … I just can't do this anymore, I am so so sorry"

My world just came crashing down, Ana.. my beautiful Ana is done, she is gone and I am standing her blank-faced like an idiot… I am too focused on how the tears make her vibrant blue eyes red and puffy and how they trail down her sweet soft skin to her lips and down her chin. Dammit, Christian! Stop her from leaving! I open my mouth to stop her but nothing comes out, I end up just standing there stunned as she waits for a response from me… but nothing comes out except,

"Ana…I….Please"

I've never been good at this kind of stuff, even since Ana and I have been together. All I know now is I just don't want her to leave, I want her to be mine for eternity.

"We just aren't the same people anymore Christian, I…I think I love someone else"

Oh.

"I am so sorry, I just need to go now." Anastasia's sobs are all I can hear ringing through my ears and just that one sentence, I love someone else… My breath catches in my throat as I feel the wet warmth of a tear slipping down my cheek. Fuck hold it together, Grey. I reach out for her hand and grab it as she starts to walk away but she shakes her head and pulls her hand away, wiping her tears. Oh Ana, how did this happen is all I want to ask her over and over again, and again. She walks into the elevator and turns around on her heels, eyes puffy.

"Anastasia" I call out in hopes that the woman I love will simply just turn around and come back into my arms where she belongs, but all she does is sniffle and press the close button repeatedly…Fuck Christian, do something! I begin to walk towards her to stop the elevator so we can stop and talk about this, work it out.

"No! Stop!" She yells as I come closer, the anger in her voice brings me to a halt

"Anastasia," I say again my voice breaking as I fall to my knees.

"Christian."

The doors close. She's gone. My love is gone. I sink my head into my knees and weep, I never cry but Ana was worth all my tears, worth every cent in my bank account. She was the breath of fresh air that saved me from drowning, only now that was all for nothing.

 _Present_

I need to get out of this damn apartment, everything inside here reminds me of her, her pillow even still smells of her and the rich lavender shampoo she loved so much. I need to get fresh air, even though Ana was the only breath of fresh air that I crave right now. I change into my jogging attire but walking out of my closet I stop dead in my tracks… Sitting on the vanity below the mirror is two diamond earrings and a necklace, the ones I gave Ana at my parents' banquet. Hell. She didn't even take those, I was hoping she would at least have one part of me somewhere… but I guess she really didn't want anything to do with me anymore.

I jog around my normal route, around the docks and through the busy streets of Seattle. Everyone's day is going through its normal rhythm, its like clockwork. But mine? It feels like the cosmic alignment has been shifted. God, I am being such a fucking flake and I hate it. I have to snap out of this before I go into the office again, I cannot risk my employees seeing their CEO as some flakey little bitch who can't shake a girl who he has only been with for three months. My breathing is heavy as I push myself to go through the markets before jogging back to Escala. I smell the sweet biscuits that the shopkeepers are putting out and I can see the sweet smile on Ana's full lips as she bit into a croissant and sipped her the morning after we had been in the playroom the entire night. God that was s a good night, Ana tied up and her soft moans for me to touch her… At least then she couldn't leave me. I jog back past the coffee shops at are scattered along the main drag looking at all the barely aware patrons typing on their laptops, or tablets when my breath catches and I feel like I was punched directly in the kidneys. I see her. Her soft brown hair, pale skin, and that tight waist. It's her. My Ana… but she is with him. Jose. They are laughing over their hot beverages and she has a croissant in front of her. Her smile wider than I have ever seen when I was with her, wider than the pictures I had seen in Jose's gallery a couple months ago. She…she looks happier. My heart feels like it turns darker, blacker than it was before, fuck. I stop down the street and observe them out of their line of vision. She looks so fucking happy with him, but me? I was happier when I was with her. I quickly put up my hood and jog past them, I can't handle seeing that. The bastard stole my fucking girl.

Standing in the shower I let the scathing water burn my skin as the room fills with hot steam. I need a fucking drink. Isn't it supposed to be the women that get in this type of mood? All depressed and not sure what to do with themselves? Shouldn't I be the one that's out at Submissive Clubs and fucking some other brown-haired beauty that likes to be whipped and tied up? Huh. Funny how different it is in this situation. I turn off the shower and walk out in my towel and pour myself a big glass of whiskey downing it in two gulps. The strong alcohol burns my throat but it brings me peace, I grab the bottle and sit in the corner of my bedroom. I look around the room and everything is reminding me of her now. The messed up sheets… I can picture her laying there, soft skin and intoxicating scent, just a sheet outlining her curves and her soft blue eyes begging me to come to bed. I look at the doorway and I remember the evening we had gotten in late and I lifted her up and kissed her entire body in that doorway… I remember her soft breaths and soft moans as I nibbled on her sensitive perky nipples. I glance down at the towel around my wait and realize I am strained against it now. Fuck, Grey. I am horny as fuck but I can't bear to sleep with anyone right now except Ana, I want her innocence and her soft moans as I pleasure her. I gulp down another glass of whiskey and continue to be eaten alive by these terrible thoughts, I keep thinking of Ana in Jose's arms… I knew I should have never let my guard down around him, I fucking told Ana he wanted in her panties and LOOK! Look I was right and now she is sleeping in his arms.

I can't get over her smile… she was so happy with him and never that happy with me. I didn't realize the extent that my feelings went to for Anastasia, and I know now that I was happiest with Ana. I look down at the empty bottle and my vision blurs trying to focus. I know Ana deserves someone who isn't so fucked up… who can give her children and a home but fuck it doesn't stop me from wanting her, loving her and just wanting to walk into SIP on Monday and beg her to come back to me. I mindlessly text Elliot who is most likely with Kate, I wonder if Anastasia has talked to Kate about what happened?… Who am I kidding? Of course, she fucking would have and Kate probably hates my guts still even though I didn't do anything. A chill runs through me as I realize what Ana could have told Kate in a drunken night at the bar. My phone buzzes.

 _Elliot:_ Hey bro. What's up?

 _Christian:_ I am a fucking mess El, Ana left me and I saw her with Jose.

There isn't a reply for a while, I hope he isn't going to give me some sort of lecture over how I need to leave her alone. Or worse what if Kate got a hold of his phone… I would never hear the end of it. The familiar buzz of my phone makes me groan before looking at it.

 _Elliot:_ You know she left you because she didn't have feelings anymore bro. You can't hold her to that and from what I hear from K is that she is happy. Just trust me, bro, one day you will feel happy again too.

I laugh at Elliot's audacity and throw my phone harshly to the ground in haste and slam my empty decanter and glass onto the table and stand up too quickly making me sway and almost fall. Fuck. I stumble the couple of feet to my bed and flop onto it causing a brief release of Anastasia's scent to be released from the linen. I sigh and rub my hand over my face, maybe he will leave her and I will get her back or she realizes that I was the one she wanted… But I will be waiting for her no matter what, I would wait for Anastasia if it meant I died alone. But I can't lose hope just yet.

She will come back… I know she will, she is my Ana.

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Sorry if this is a bit rough as I have not been writing for a while! But feel free to leave comments and suggestions for me and I will try to reply to all of them!

Kisses,

HopelessFifty x.


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